Spike found himself laughing about Anya’s bunny fear. She had never revealed
her traumatic experience before, as far as he knew. There were a lot more frightening things than rabbits in the world,
but apparently that experience had caused Anya quite a bit of stress and she was never able to get over it.
Spike poured himself another glass of brandy and sipped it as he continued reading.
Working on a Relationship
I sat in my apartment all night pondering what Xander had said. Relationships
take work? I really could not understand why. In the animal world, relationships just sort of happened.
There was no work involved.
Curiously, I found myself scribbling his name on a pad of paper again and again.
Why was I doing that? I had no idea. When I finally fell asleep that night, I dreamt of what Xander looked like
naked. This naked Xander of my dreams was holding me and kissing me and gently rubbing his hands on my breasts.
My breathing was ragged.
When I woke up, I found that I was wrapped like a mummy in the sheet. My hair
was stuck to my face with perspiration.
I had to get over Xander. He was causing too many of those feeling that I detested.
He filled my thoughts in all moments.
I finally realized what I needed to do. I opened my closet and found a silky
dress that was perfect for my purposes. I deemed all of my undergarments unacceptable, and decided that going without would
have even greater effect.
I walked up to Xander’s house yet again, hoping to find him at home this time.
His mother told me he was in the basement and pointed me in that direction.
I knocked on the door and Xander told me to come in. I asked if we could talk
more and he went to the small refrigerator. While he was busy getting something to drink, I let my dress fall to the
Xander looked at me, dumbfounded.
“What?? Um… What are you doing Anya?” he asked.
“I plan to have sexual relations with you,” I answered.
“But, um, how? I mean, why? I mean…”
I tried to explain to him my reasoning for us having sex. He did not seem to
understand. Could it be that he had not had a sexual experience before? If that was the case, I could understand
his hesitation. But surely he had. He was well-liked and seemed to be surrounded by women. I, myself, didn’t
have much experience and no experience at all in the previous thousand some-odd years, but Xander was at his sexual prime.
Surely he was well experienced.
“This experience,” I told him, “is intended for each of us to be
able to stop thinking about the other. We will engage each other, and hopefully come to stimulating climaxes.
At which point the matter is brought to a conclusion with both parties satisfied and able to move on with their separate lives
and interest. To sum up, I think it’s a workable plan.”
“So, the crux of the plan is…?” He asked, still not comprehending.
“Sexual intercourse. I’ve said it a dozen times. I think it's
the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me figuratively. I'm thinking face to face for the
actual event itself.”
Xander began hemming and hawing about liking me and telling me that sex was about expressing
something and accepting consequences.
I told him that I had condoms, if that was what he was worried about. As a matter
of fact, when I went to the drug store to buy them, I purchased as many different kinds as I could find, not knowing what
would be most pleasing to Xander.
“I like you,” I told him. “You're funny, and you're nicely
shaped. And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.”
He said that I was more romantic than someone named Faith. So, he had had sexual
experience. That was good, given that my own was very limited.
We began to kiss. Xander was very gentle and unsure. We made our way to
the bed and I began undressing him quickly.
“Slow down,” he said rather abruptly. “I want to take it slowly
Not quite understanding, I got behind him and began kissing him on the back of his
neck as I unbuttoned his shirt. I effortlessly slid the shirt down from his shoulders. Then I kissed his shoulders
and put my hands under his tank top. Sliding it over his head, I kissed up his spine. I may not have had much experience,
but I had seen that television program about the four women who have all the sex.
Xander turned around and began kissing me again. He ran his tongue down my chin
and then down my neck. He hesitantly touched my breast. He gently touched my nipple and a moan came unexpectedly
from my mouth.
He leaned me back and lay atop me, moving my dark hair to begin sucking on my ear.
I felt his hardness pressing into me through his khakis. Good, I was having success in arousing him. Our bodies seemed to
mirror each other as we ground ourselves together.
I reached down to unbuckle his belt, but his hands were already there, tearing at it
in his rush to get it unbuckled. For someone who wanted to take it slow, he quickly dropped his pants and was atop me
once more. I reached over and grabbed a condom from my purse. He took it from me and put it on with a blush and
a grin that made my insides melt even more.
Xander gently found his way into me and our bodies became one. After several
minutes of easy, gentle thrusting, I felt my appreciation for taking it slow increase. Suddenly, I found my eyes closing and
shivers came up and down my body. I realized that it was my first orgasm and took in the experience in all its wonder.
I let out a scream which seemed to increase his excitement, as well.
Soon, Xander’s own orgasm came. Afterwards, we lay there for a few seconds.
Then we both slowly got up and began getting dressed.
“So, I’m over you now.” I said it because that had been my original
intention: have sex, and then cut off relations. However, at that moment, I somehow knew that it wasn’t true.
Xander just said, “Okay.”
Okay? I thought. That was it? Did he not have the same reaction I did?
He had reached his climax. I knew it. Surely, this was the beginning of a relationship.
I left his basement, confused and not understanding why I felt so much and he didn’t.
The next day, I decided to find him and let him know exactly how I felt. I walked
into his basement and looked around. I didn’t see him. I looked under the bed and all I found was dirty
clothes and magazines. I even looked inside his refrigerator, too, for some inexplicable reason.
What did I know about Xander? How did he spend his days? He lived in his
parents’ basement. He used to go to high school, but now he didn’t. He spent a lot of time with his friends.
He liked to think he was helping the Slayer. Then I remembered. He worked for the Watcher.
I went to Giles’s apartment, but no one was there. I thought if I could
find the Slayer, I would probably find Xander. I rummaged through the mind-numbing notes on the Watcher’s desk
until I found a slip that read “My new dorm room, Stevenson Hall, Room 214.” Buffy’s name was written
on it in another handwriting, probably the Watcher’s.
After wandering the town, I finally found the college and Stevenson Hall. I climbed
the stairs to the second floor and found Xander banging on the door.
“Xander, I was looking for you,” I said. “You weren't in your musty
He asked if I’d seen Buffy. I hadn’t seen Buffy since before the
Ascension. Why would he think that I would have seen her now?
I told him I hadn’t and tried to explain that I wasn’t really over him,
but he told me he didn’t have time. Then he left without another word.
I stood in the hall feeling rejected and alone. Here I had spent months worrying
about his well-being, and then when I got back he didn’t seem to understand the nature of our relationship or relationships
at all. I went back to my apartment and cried, discovering that tears were a reaction over which I had little
A week later, I went to his house and knocked on the front door. A rather large
man answered. He was wearing a robe and his grey chest hairs were poking out. His hair was mussed and he looked
like he had just woken up. I hoped that this wasn’t one of Xander’s male relatives, because I didn’t
like to think of Xander ending up looking like this.
“I need to talk to Xander,” I said.
“Are you his girlfriend?” he asked.
I half nodded, not knowing if that was what I was, and he introduced himself, “I’m
Xander’s Uncle Rory.” When he spoke a very pungent odor of peppermint escaped his mouth.
He led me through the house. I observed that the furniture in the living room
was covered in plastic with sheets draped over them. We went through the kitchen where dirty dishes spilled out of a
dirtier sink and he pointed me to the basement door. “I think he’s in there,” he said.
I walked down to the basement to see Xander putting on his coat. He asked why I was
there and I reminded him that he hadn’t called.
“You said you were over me,” he answered.
“I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear,”
“I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.”
I told him that that was stupid. I had observed that people rarely said what
they meant. Most of the time, they would say the opposite. It’s actually one of the things I dislike most
about being around humans.
He told me that he was glad to see me and he invited me to spend our one-week fornication
anniversary at a Halloween party with his friends. I did not understand why he still associated with them, since they obviously
had very little in common.
“Is this a date?” I asked, happy with the way I was “working”
at our relationship.
“There are definitely date-like qualities at work here,” he told me.
This pleased me very much. Then he said I needed a scary costume. I had no idea what kind of scary costume he
meant, but he said that he had faith in me. He told me where to meet him and I left to go find a scary costume.
I went to the costume shop and looked around. There were many different kinds
of costumes, but none of them seemed scary to me. Witches, devils, ballerinas (okay, those scared me a little), ghosts.
None of them seemed particularly fright inducing. I spent the good part of an afternoon, pawing my way through the costumes.
“Are there any more costumes?” I asked the salesclerk.
“Just the seasonal ones, Santa Clause, Father Time, Leprechauns, Easter Bunnies…”
I didn’t hear the rest of the list because I was having a flashback of my terrifying
bus trip in South Africa.
“I’ll take a bunny,” I said, certain it was the scariest of all the
I carried the bundle home and waited until it was time to go to the party.
I put the scary thing on and made my way to the university. At the house where
the party was supposed to take place I walked up onto the porch. I saw the welcome mat, but the door was missing.
I knocked on the wall and got no answer. Was this Xander’s idea of a joke?
I really didn’t understand humor very well. I started walking away when I heard a scream. I looked up and
saw a woman banging on an upstairs window and screaming for help. Then the window suddenly disappeared.
A feeling of fear came over me. Was Xander in danger? Again? Not
knowing what to do, I went to see Giles.
I knocked on his door and was greeted by the Watcher wearing a ridiculous poncho and
“Xander is in trouble,” I informed him. “We’ve got to
do something, right now! He’s trapped.”
“Where are Buffy and the others?” he asked.
“They’re trapped, too, but we’ve got to save Xander!”
I told him what I knew and he was able to determine what might have happened.
I wouldn’t ever tell him this, but for a man, he really does seem to know a lot.
He went to a closet in his apartment and came out with a black bag.
The two of us made our way back to the house in his tiny car. We made our way
to the porch and he felt the wall where the door should be.
“We’ll have to make a door,” he said. Then he pulled a chainsaw
out of his bag. I wondered why he owned a chainsaw, but didn’t ask.
We went into the hole that Giles had made and the walls closed behind us.
After climbing the stairs and getting lost a few times, we finally found Xander.
He looked gorgeous. He was wearing a tuxedo and looked even better than he had at the prom. I ran to him and gave him
They had figured out that the fear demon Gachnar was trying to manifest itself.
Out of nowhere, Buffy started destroying the sign of Gachnar, which anyone could have told her would summon the fear demon
immediately. But they never asked me.
Gachnar became manifest, but his actual size was only six inches tall, so the Slayer
stomped on him.
Xander and I continued our date by going back to the Watcher’s house and eating
candy. Afterward, we went back to his basement and had sex for the second time. We continued to work on
our relationship pretty much every night after that.